THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is a truly wonderful thing and we all know it’s vital to our health and well being.  Friends come into our lives and friends go out of our lives as the years roll along.  But there’s something so very special about the friends who’ve been with you through many, many of the decades of your life.  

I just had lunch with my “Magnolia” girlfriends.  We’ve been friends for 42 years, having met when most of our children were toddlers.  We’ve been through the good times and the bad times together, always there supporting each other.  We’ve experienced the passing of our parents, divorces, deaths, as well as celebrating our children’s weddings, births of grandchildren, retirements, etc.

We call ourselves the magnolias because of something tragic that happened more than twenty six years ago.  The teenage daughter of one of the magnolias died in a car accident just a couple of miles from home.  Words can’t describe such a terribly painful event, but we were all there to support the family.  

The six of us had gone to the movies together to see “The Steel Magnolias” the previous year.  It was a heart-wrenching story and we went through a lot of tissues that day.   Months after the funeral we all realized we were similar to the steel magnolias with what we had gone through and the name just stuck.  Over many, many years it has just been shortened to the Magnolias.

Through the early years our families went camping together, had picnics, celebrated birthdays and holidays, and enjoyed each others company.  Not only were us six women close friends, but as couples we were all friends and our children grew up together too.

Time marches on quickly and before we knew it our children were grown, and we all settled into our new way of life as empty nesters.  Family outings of yore were now house parties with the 12 of us, or occasional gals weekend get-aways.

Suddenly in the blink of an eye we were entering our 50’s.  None of us know what our expiration date is here on earth, or whether we will have a chance to say goodbye or be gone in an instant.  One of the magnolia’s found out her time had run out when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  As she went through chemotherapy, we took turns bringing meals to Paula and her husband, and sitting with her for hours to help out.  Paula had talked about getting a magnolia tattoo, and two of us said we would get one too.  But unfortunately that was not possible under the circumstances.  We celebrated Paula’s 50th birthday at her home, with each of us wearing a magnolia flower in our hair and putting a temporary magnolia tattoo on our face.  It was the last picture the six of us would ever take together.  Very sadly Paula only lived four months past her diagnosis.

Paula’s husband, their grown daughter, and two magnolias (Sandy and myself) eventually ended up getting real magnolia tattoos.  It’s a comforting reminder of a special friendship.

As time went on getting together seemed strange when there were just the five of us.  Our friendship continued without Paula but it didn’t feel the same anymore.  

Once again the years flew by and we entered our next decade.  Along the way our lives got very busy with jobs, travel, married children, and grandchildren.  The five magnolias slowly drifted apart and we saw each other only occasionally at some function or special event, or at the rare luncheon date.

There’s an old saying that everything happens for a reason.  I don’t always agree with that but I know for certain that is very true in some instances by what happened a few years ago.  I received a call by one of the magnolias telling me that the only son of our late friend Paula had died in a car accident.  He was engaged to be married at the time.  Once again the five magnolias were together, grieving for the loss of our girlfriend’s son, who was much too young to be gone.  We stood by each other’s side as the ashes of Alex were lowered into the ground next to his Mother’s grave.

After the graveside service family and friends gathered at the home of Paula’s elderly mother to have lunch and reminisce about her late daughter and grandson’s lives.  Sitting with my magnolia girlfriends I realized how much I had missed their company.  I think we each felt the same thing because we vowed to start getting together for lunch every few months.  It seemed that Alex’s death was the catalyst that brought us back together again.

Since that time we have made sure to see each other much more regularly.  After all, we share a 42 year history of friendship and life’s heartaches and joys.  Plus, we’re all getting older, and we need each other now more than ever.

And so we gathered together this week for lunch at the Amaya Restaurant at the Grand Del Mar to celebrate not only Christmas, but our long-lasting friendship and all the memories we’ve shared, with hopefully many more in the years ahead.  Friendship this special is something to cherish and hold dear to the heart.  After all, none of us know when our expiration date is.