LIFESTYLE - NOT DIET

For more than half my adult life I struggled with my weight.  I was on many different diets over the years.  I would lose the pounds and eventually my bad habits would return and we all know what happens then.  I was a typical yo-yo dieter.  Twenty years ago I found a way to eat that actually worked once and for all.  I’ve been successful in maintaining my weight with no more yo-yo weight gains and losses.

DISCLAIMER - Let me make it clear that I am not a dietitian and I’m not promoting another fad diet.  What I’m talking about in this blog is what anyone who has the motivation can accomplish. 

What I do is not that difficult and I never feel deprived.  Moderation, measuring, portion control, plus discipline and will power, are the keys to my success.  I don’t believe in cutting out specific foods I love either.  That would only make me crave them more, and that feeling could lead to over-indulging, something I no longer feel the need to do.

To start with, I measure almost everything I consume, most of the time using measuring cups.  For instance, my morning cereal isn’t just dumped into a large bowl.  I read the label on the cereal box, calculate how much I can allow myself, and then measure out what I’m going to eat.  I can’t use milk (lactose intolerant), so instead I use natural Greek yogurt and measure 1/2 c. to mix with my 1/2 c. cereal.  One half of a banana and a sprinkle of blueberries and that’s my breakfast.  Filling and very satisfying.

My husband and I love pasta and eat it as a main course or as a side dish alongside meat, chicken, or fish.  Gone are the days of filling a plate with a big mound of pasta, though.  I carefully watch my carb intake, so for a box or package of dry pasta I try to get 9-10 cooked servings instead of the 8 that is listed on most packages.  After the pasta is cooked I measure 2/3 c. cooked pasta for each serving, which I put on a large piece of parchment paper until I have 9-10 servings.  I may have to take some pasta from each pile to even out the servings.  However, when I cook a pound of Barilla whole grain thin spaghetti I get to make the 8 servings that are on the package due to the fact it is lower in carbs and higher in fiber.  Besides that it tastes really good too.

It might look like a very small amount of pasta for a meal, but when I add the sauce, some small cubes of Asiago cheese or meatballs or sausage, a vegetable, and a hearty salad, there is enough to eat.  I never serve bread with pasta either.  Yes, we sometimes miss having bread, but it’s a small sacrifice to make.  If we go out to dinner at an Italian restaurant we might indulge a little, but at home we don’t.

I also eat a wide variety of fruit and vegetables, which are also portion controlled by serving size.

When I’m hungry for a mid-morning snack I have several choices I can make.  Here is a picture of what my mid-morning snack was this morning.  Other days it might be a teaspoon of peanut butter, or some goat cheese, on a Triscuit cracker. 

I do enjoy having a small sweet treat a couple hours after dinner.  Once again, whatever the treat might be, it is calculated and measured.  If it’s ice cream I don't just guess at the amount of ice cream I put in a bowl.  And yes, I really do eat ice cream, just not the fully loaded kind.  I buy Dreyer’s Slow Churned and measure out the 1/2 c. serving size.  A friend recently told me she listened to what I said and she had a 1/2 c. of ice cream.  And then she went and had another 1/2 c.  Hah!  I don’t think she was paying attention.  My guideline for a sweet treat is something low in calories, fat, and carbs.  A square of Dove dark chocolate is a great treat.  When it’s Girl Scout cookie time I read the label on the box and can usually have 1 or 2.  I remember the days though when I opened the box and indulged in a lot more than that.  I also remember the extra pounds I carried around from doing that and a lot more.  

Before I buy something at the store in a box, bag, package, etc. I read the nutritional label.  I see how many servings are in the package, and what size is the serving, then the calories, fat, carbs, fiber, and protein in each serving.  I then decide if the serving size is worth buying the product.

I mentioned discipline and will power earlier.  Those two things didn't just happen overnight.  It took a lot of practice along with finally starting to see the results of my new way of eating to reinforce my dedication.  Not only did my clothes fit better, but my annual lab results improved too.  Both good reasons to continue my new lifestyle.

After eating this way for twenty years I'm able to eat 1 or 2 potato chips and close the bag.  I eat everything slowly, savor and enjoy the taste of whatever I'm eating.  Nowadays they call it “Mindful Eating”.  Yes, I eat out and bring home half my meal if the portion size is too much.  You may be wondering if I ever splurge.  Of course I do!  But one splurge doesn't derail me into a downward spiral.  The next day I get right back to my usual regimen.  

The main and most important reason I live this disciplined way is because I want, and hope, to have a better quality of life as I age.  Coupled with regular exercise (see my former fitness blogs) my lab results are good, I feel great, and I'm pleased with how my clothes fit.  To me that makes what I'm doing well worth the extra effort.

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is a truly wonderful thing and we all know it’s vital to our health and well being.  Friends come into our lives and friends go out of our lives as the years roll along.  But there’s something so very special about the friends who’ve been with you through many, many of the decades of your life.  

I just had lunch with my “Magnolia” girlfriends.  We’ve been friends for 42 years, having met when most of our children were toddlers.  We’ve been through the good times and the bad times together, always there supporting each other.  We’ve experienced the passing of our parents, divorces, deaths, as well as celebrating our children’s weddings, births of grandchildren, retirements, etc.

We call ourselves the magnolias because of something tragic that happened more than twenty six years ago.  The teenage daughter of one of the magnolias died in a car accident just a couple of miles from home.  Words can’t describe such a terribly painful event, but we were all there to support the family.  

The six of us had gone to the movies together to see “The Steel Magnolias” the previous year.  It was a heart-wrenching story and we went through a lot of tissues that day.   Months after the funeral we all realized we were similar to the steel magnolias with what we had gone through and the name just stuck.  Over many, many years it has just been shortened to the Magnolias.

Through the early years our families went camping together, had picnics, celebrated birthdays and holidays, and enjoyed each others company.  Not only were us six women close friends, but as couples we were all friends and our children grew up together too.

Time marches on quickly and before we knew it our children were grown, and we all settled into our new way of life as empty nesters.  Family outings of yore were now house parties with the 12 of us, or occasional gals weekend get-aways.

Suddenly in the blink of an eye we were entering our 50’s.  None of us know what our expiration date is here on earth, or whether we will have a chance to say goodbye or be gone in an instant.  One of the magnolia’s found out her time had run out when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  As she went through chemotherapy, we took turns bringing meals to Paula and her husband, and sitting with her for hours to help out.  Paula had talked about getting a magnolia tattoo, and two of us said we would get one too.  But unfortunately that was not possible under the circumstances.  We celebrated Paula’s 50th birthday at her home, with each of us wearing a magnolia flower in our hair and putting a temporary magnolia tattoo on our face.  It was the last picture the six of us would ever take together.  Very sadly Paula only lived four months past her diagnosis.

Paula’s husband, their grown daughter, and two magnolias (Sandy and myself) eventually ended up getting real magnolia tattoos.  It’s a comforting reminder of a special friendship.

As time went on getting together seemed strange when there were just the five of us.  Our friendship continued without Paula but it didn’t feel the same anymore.  

Once again the years flew by and we entered our next decade.  Along the way our lives got very busy with jobs, travel, married children, and grandchildren.  The five magnolias slowly drifted apart and we saw each other only occasionally at some function or special event, or at the rare luncheon date.

There’s an old saying that everything happens for a reason.  I don’t always agree with that but I know for certain that is very true in some instances by what happened a few years ago.  I received a call by one of the magnolias telling me that the only son of our late friend Paula had died in a car accident.  He was engaged to be married at the time.  Once again the five magnolias were together, grieving for the loss of our girlfriend’s son, who was much too young to be gone.  We stood by each other’s side as the ashes of Alex were lowered into the ground next to his Mother’s grave.

After the graveside service family and friends gathered at the home of Paula’s elderly mother to have lunch and reminisce about her late daughter and grandson’s lives.  Sitting with my magnolia girlfriends I realized how much I had missed their company.  I think we each felt the same thing because we vowed to start getting together for lunch every few months.  It seemed that Alex’s death was the catalyst that brought us back together again.

Since that time we have made sure to see each other much more regularly.  After all, we share a 42 year history of friendship and life’s heartaches and joys.  Plus, we’re all getting older, and we need each other now more than ever.

And so we gathered together this week for lunch at the Amaya Restaurant at the Grand Del Mar to celebrate not only Christmas, but our long-lasting friendship and all the memories we’ve shared, with hopefully many more in the years ahead.  Friendship this special is something to cherish and hold dear to the heart.  After all, none of us know when our expiration date is.