PASSIVE VS. ACTIVE

I’ve always tried to live what I considered to be a more active lifestyle in order to stay as healthy as I could.  However, during these past two months I’ve discovered that I’ve been going about it entirely wrong.  It seems that I should have been more passive.  In other words, I should have pursued more “passive activities”.

I always thought that when I was reading a book, listening to music, sewing, cooking, or watching television that I was more passive since these things are more relaxing and certainly don’t cause my heart rate to accelerate.  On the other hand when I’m taking a walk for exercise, hiking on a trail, or working out at the gym I have always thought of these things as being active.  My heart rate and fast breathing certainly let me know I’m being active.

Somehow during this pandemic some genius has coined the term “passive use”.  These words are now used in the following sentence, “Passive use only, such as walking, jogging, or hiking.”  This sentence has been posted on trails, parks, beaches, or wherever people go to enjoy the great outdoors.  Following the logic of that posting I would assume that they also don’t want you to “Actively stop, stand, sit, or lie down” either.

I guess I had it wrong all along and I shouldn’t have felt bad when I spent the better part of a day listening to music while I read a good book, or spent hours sitting at my sewing machine.  According to the new terminology I was being quite “active” while doing these things.  I certainly didn’t know that walking, jogging, hiking, or biking were considered “passive use” activities.  Wow, I really was wrong!

I think Mr. Webster needs another revised edition of his dictionary.

Well, now that I’ve already gone for a one hour “passive use” activity for the day, I think I will get my book and pursue a much more “active use” activity for the remainder of the day.  Now if only my scale knew that I was being more active!

50th Anniversary Cruise 

Hard to believe that this summer is almost half over.  This first half has been one non-stop whirlwind of travel, family, friends, and lots and lots of fun!  This is my first week with hardly any planned activities; giving me a chance to do some catching up with things I’ve let slide by.

My last blog entry was about my husband and I getting ready to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary.  Well, we did just that by taking a Holland America cruise from Venice to Rome.  We started the trip by spending two nights in Venice before we boarded the ship.  We had not been to Venice since 2005, so it was wonderful to be there again.  We stayed at the beautiful Hotel Bonvecchiati, which is just a 2 minute walk from St. Mark’s Square.  It is located on one of the smaller canals leading to the Grand Canal.

One afternoon we made reservations for the rooftop of the 4 story indoor mall.  The reservation allows you to spend 15 minutes on the roof taking pictures of the absolutely amazing 360-degree view.

On our second night in Venice we, as well as many other guests, were taken by private motor-launch onto the Grand Canal, where we motored up to a privately owned 16th-century palace, where we were met by a member of the noble family (she looked exactly like Lauren Bacall).  We entered the courtyard and to our utter amazement the piece of property went back approximately 125 ft.  The garden was so lovely with meandering paths throughout the well-manicured plants and shrubs.

Musicians dressed in Venetian gondola-style clothing played, while waiters in white dinner jackets walked amongst the guests carrying trays of hors de oeuvres.  There was also an open bar and tables with more food.  The guests were dressed in their finery for such an elegant evening which added to the special event.

Before it was time to depart and return to our hotel we got to tour the inside of the palace.  It was 4-stories and all the furnishings were vintage.  The views from every window facing the Grand Canal were extraordinary!  The lady who had met us as we arrived now said goodbye to us as we thanked her and stepped onboard the motor-launch, returning to our hotel.  It was an evening I will fondly remember.

The next day we boarded the Oosterdam to begin the cruise.  It went to ports in Croatia, Albania, Greece, Malta, and Italy. 

On a tour to Olympia, Greece, we visited the site of the first Olympics and saw where the Olympic torch starts its journey.  

We had a delicious lunch in the picturesque seaside town of Chania, Crete on the day of our anniversary.  When we returned to the ship and went in our cabin we were greeted by two towel swans forming a heart sitting on our bed, made by our delightful two cabin stewards, who were quite excited about us celebrating our 50th anniversary.  That night we had dinner reservations at the Pinnacle Grill on the ship.  It was a truly wonderful day and one we will never forget.

The day we were in Palermo, Sicily, we found our way to the largest of the three outdoor markets, where we had been two years ago while on an OAT trip.  We had a yummy lunch of arancini and wine, followed by a cannoli later on.

Our last port before we got to Rome was Naples, Italy.  We had been there several times so this time we took a jet boat over to the Isle of Capri and spent most of the day there.  We had a delicious lunch with a breathtaking view of the harbor far below.  Later the jet boat whisked us back to the ship in time to get ready for the last night of our special 50th anniversary trip.

NOTICE THE BANNER HANGING BEHIND US!  

50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!

As my husband and I approach our golden anniversary, so many thoughts and memories from our 50 years together come through my mind like an endless movie reel.  We’ve spent almost an entire lifetime together.  I’m just completely amazed that that much time has gone by.

We started this journey together quite young, especially by today’s standards.  But things were different back then.  We were more mature and ready to start a life together.  We were also quite independent and determined to be self-sufficient.  

I think about this long road we’ve been traveling for 50 years and how very far we’ve come.  We’ve both changed during this time, growing together as a couple.  You can’t help but change and rub off on each other in all those years.  And hopefully we've picked up some of each other’s best traits and qualities.  I’m the yin to his yang and we seem to balance each other out.

It would be most unusual to get through this lifetime without experiencing some hardships and difficult times.  It’s the fact that we did get through them, walking out of the darkness back into the sunlight that helped strengthen us as a couple and make the good times taste even sweeter.  The truly wondrous things we’ve experienced together have brought us unbelievable happiness and joy in our lives.

When I sat next to my husband at our nephew’s wedding recently, I thought about what words and their meanings I think are so very important as you live your life together.  Love is above all number one.  The others are:  Trust, Integrity, Respect, Communication, Compromise, and Laughter.

And so, hand-in-hand, our journey continues together, still sharing great new adventures, facing whatever lies ahead.

KEEPING BUSY DIANE'S WAY

Recently my husband came inside after spending hours working outside in the yard.  I, on the other hand, had spent hours in the house doing what I do best.  Now you may be wondering, what is that?  Guess he was wondering the same thing because he asked me what I had been doing all day.  My answer to that question was, "Oh, just puttering around in my sewing room, doing this and that."  And to that he replied, "Well, you're very good at keeping yourself busy."

I don't think I've ever had a day where I've been bored silly.  In fact it seems like I always have an endless list of things needing to be done.  Grant you some of those things that need my attention fall into the category I refer to as "work." They are those chores that require some effort and offer no pleasure.  Then there are the other things that need to be done and I refer to those as "enjoyable."  The effort they require is of a creative nature so of course they are always at the top of my so-called "to-do" list.

And that brings me back to my day spent "puttering around" in my sewing room.  I do an awful lot of that.  Some days I have accomplished a lot, other days not so much.  But it's ok if that happens.  I decided to look up the meaning of puttering since I've always liked that word.  It just sounds better than saying "I was just messing around today," which was one of the synonyms I found in my Webster's thesaurus (yes, I actually do use one of those).  My Webster's dictionary (use that too) says "to busy or occupy oneself in a leisurely, casual, or ineffective manner."  I will agree to that meaning describing what I do except for the "ineffective manner" part.  And the best description I found on good old Google was from a blog I read that said, "puttering is the art of passing time staying "busy" but without a set agenda."

Here is an example of what I recently did on a day of puttering around:

I had a very nice white t-shirt that was fairly new when I discovered that it had acquired a few orange stains right on the front in a very strategic place.  I decided to do something creative to camouflage the stains but the t-shirt hung in my closet for many months while I thought about exactly what I would do.  I finally decided to stencil the front and perhaps add some doodles with ink too.  But then I got the bright idea to add some kind of an artistic appliqué.  I sketched out a design and kept altering it until it was the right size to cover the stains.  I used a piece of fabric I bought in Guatemala and ironed fusible onto the back, traced the design and cut it out.  I laid it across the t-shirt top and it looked much too large and bold.  So I cut it into quarters, fused it on, and zigzagged the edges.  Next came the lavender rickrack I already had and the large button.  I like the result and the stains are definitely covered!

Another couple of days were spent making one of my girlfriends a few homemade gifts for her birthday this year.  I didn't have any patterns for the things I decided to make, but I figured that wouldn't be an issue.  So the first item I made was a small trash container to put next to her sewing machine.  My friend, Debbie Peterson, recently made one for me when I went to Asilomar and I just love it.  I was able to utilize my collection of selvage strips too, which is what Debbie did.  I sewed the strips onto a piece of stabilizer and then squared that up to the size I wanted to make the trash container.  

The second item I made was a small storage pouch, which is always useful to take to retreats or classes.

And the third item I made was the most difficult without a pattern, but I finally managed to get it done.  If you untie the corners it lies flat for packing in a bag.  Anything that might roll off a table can be kept secure inside it.

The moral of this story is not to worry about spending a day "puttering around" as long as it keeps you busy.  You just never know what you might get done that day.

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is a truly wonderful thing and we all know it’s vital to our health and well being.  Friends come into our lives and friends go out of our lives as the years roll along.  But there’s something so very special about the friends who’ve been with you through many, many of the decades of your life.  

I just had lunch with my “Magnolia” girlfriends.  We’ve been friends for 42 years, having met when most of our children were toddlers.  We’ve been through the good times and the bad times together, always there supporting each other.  We’ve experienced the passing of our parents, divorces, deaths, as well as celebrating our children’s weddings, births of grandchildren, retirements, etc.

We call ourselves the magnolias because of something tragic that happened more than twenty six years ago.  The teenage daughter of one of the magnolias died in a car accident just a couple of miles from home.  Words can’t describe such a terribly painful event, but we were all there to support the family.  

The six of us had gone to the movies together to see “The Steel Magnolias” the previous year.  It was a heart-wrenching story and we went through a lot of tissues that day.   Months after the funeral we all realized we were similar to the steel magnolias with what we had gone through and the name just stuck.  Over many, many years it has just been shortened to the Magnolias.

Through the early years our families went camping together, had picnics, celebrated birthdays and holidays, and enjoyed each others company.  Not only were us six women close friends, but as couples we were all friends and our children grew up together too.

Time marches on quickly and before we knew it our children were grown, and we all settled into our new way of life as empty nesters.  Family outings of yore were now house parties with the 12 of us, or occasional gals weekend get-aways.

Suddenly in the blink of an eye we were entering our 50’s.  None of us know what our expiration date is here on earth, or whether we will have a chance to say goodbye or be gone in an instant.  One of the magnolia’s found out her time had run out when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  As she went through chemotherapy, we took turns bringing meals to Paula and her husband, and sitting with her for hours to help out.  Paula had talked about getting a magnolia tattoo, and two of us said we would get one too.  But unfortunately that was not possible under the circumstances.  We celebrated Paula’s 50th birthday at her home, with each of us wearing a magnolia flower in our hair and putting a temporary magnolia tattoo on our face.  It was the last picture the six of us would ever take together.  Very sadly Paula only lived four months past her diagnosis.

Paula’s husband, their grown daughter, and two magnolias (Sandy and myself) eventually ended up getting real magnolia tattoos.  It’s a comforting reminder of a special friendship.

As time went on getting together seemed strange when there were just the five of us.  Our friendship continued without Paula but it didn’t feel the same anymore.  

Once again the years flew by and we entered our next decade.  Along the way our lives got very busy with jobs, travel, married children, and grandchildren.  The five magnolias slowly drifted apart and we saw each other only occasionally at some function or special event, or at the rare luncheon date.

There’s an old saying that everything happens for a reason.  I don’t always agree with that but I know for certain that is very true in some instances by what happened a few years ago.  I received a call by one of the magnolias telling me that the only son of our late friend Paula had died in a car accident.  He was engaged to be married at the time.  Once again the five magnolias were together, grieving for the loss of our girlfriend’s son, who was much too young to be gone.  We stood by each other’s side as the ashes of Alex were lowered into the ground next to his Mother’s grave.

After the graveside service family and friends gathered at the home of Paula’s elderly mother to have lunch and reminisce about her late daughter and grandson’s lives.  Sitting with my magnolia girlfriends I realized how much I had missed their company.  I think we each felt the same thing because we vowed to start getting together for lunch every few months.  It seemed that Alex’s death was the catalyst that brought us back together again.

Since that time we have made sure to see each other much more regularly.  After all, we share a 42 year history of friendship and life’s heartaches and joys.  Plus, we’re all getting older, and we need each other now more than ever.

And so we gathered together this week for lunch at the Amaya Restaurant at the Grand Del Mar to celebrate not only Christmas, but our long-lasting friendship and all the memories we’ve shared, with hopefully many more in the years ahead.  Friendship this special is something to cherish and hold dear to the heart.  After all, none of us know when our expiration date is.

POST THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS

I hope everyone reading this had an enjoyable Thanksgiving day.  If you didn’t know it was November 23 you just might think it was August 23.  That’s because in Southern California the weather was sizzling for what should be a cool, comfortable Fall day.  I wore a summer dress and sandals as if it were a summer day.  The air conditioning should not have to be running in order to cook a turkey in the oven.  Crazy huh? 

Kudos to my sister-in-law Denise and my brother-in-law Len for hosting this holiday year after year.  They go through a lot of effort to make the day very special for all the family present.  Denise does a great job in the kitchen making everything she serves from hors d'oeuvres to main dishes to desserts from scratch.  Her table settings are as lovely as her food is delicious!

My husband and I look forward to this holiday every year and gladly drive the 4 hour round trip so we can spend the day with family who are able to be there.  This year we lucked out in regards to the traffic.  Seems that most people traveling for the holiday obviously had left earlier in the week as we encountered very few slow-downs on the freeways.

Because we had not seen any of the family since last Christmas it was wonderful to catch up with all the latest news from everyone.  We heard about the wedding plans from one nephew and congratulated our other nephew on the upcoming birth of his first child.  And we got to hold our adorable 2 year old great niece.  My husband’s 93 year old aunt was there too, so we had 4 generations of female family present: his aunt, his sister, her daughter (our niece), and our niece’s daughter.  Altogether we totaled 16 people.  Conversation flowed comfortably among all of us.

As we drove home that evening I felt very grateful for the warmth and love of my husband’s family.  They’ve been a part of my life as far back as I can remember.  Not only was I full from Thanksgiving dinner but my heart was full as well.

SUMMERTIME FUN

I'm back on-line after the most wonderful 9 days!  And I didn't even have to get on a plane or pack a suitcase.  And I also wasn’t quilting or doing anything related to sewing.  Do you give up wondering what I've been up to?

Well, my oldest son and his two boys, my grandsons ages 7 and 12, have been out here from the East, visiting my husband and I.  It has been a whirlwind of a week too!!  Included in all this activity has been my youngest son, his wife, and their two sons, my grandsons ages 9 and 11, who live close by.

Our days have been spent at the beach or at our pool, since all my grandchildren, and us adults, absolutely love the water.  I feel like I have been magically transported back in time as we load the car with boogie boards, sand toys, food and drinks, and surfboards tied with bungee cords on the roof.  

That's exactly how my summer days were spent when my two sons were growing up.  They learned to surf when they were young, and some of my fondest memories are of our regular trips to the beach.  Before they could drive I would sit on the beach and watch them surf.  Such amazing balance and control!  Only once did I attempt to surf, with help from my sons and husband.  Each time I tried I could only get to my knees before falling off.  I finally had to give up and realize that me becoming a surfer was not going to happen.  And my many bruises the next day reinforced that fact!

Now, as I sit on the beach as a grandmother, I marvel at the passage of time.  I'm now watching my grown sons and 3 of my grandsons out in the water on bogey boards and surfboards.  My 9 year old grandson gets to enjoy the surf in the floating wheelchair provided by the city lifeguard station.  When he's not in the water he loves to sit and dig in the sand.  

I haven't spent this much time at the beach and in the ocean in many, many, years.  It was such fun to be out in the water with my grandsons, who are fearless.

After a long day at the beach we would come home and jump in the pool.  Dinner was on the patio, where we talked, laughed, and told family stories.

Besides regular trips to the beach, we went on all the boats at the Maritime Museum at the Embarcadero, went to the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center to see “Madagascar, Island of Lemurs” on the IMAX, and went to a birthday party for my second grandson’s 11th birthday.  We finished our last day together by going to the Chula Vista Challenge, where we watched my oldest son compete in the sprint triathlon.

After tearful goodbyes at the airport that night, my husband and I came home to an oddly quiet house, exhausted, but so very happy inside.